Merry Christmas my loves!
It's been a very long minute since I wrote a mass email, but I have decided to repent and ask for your forgiveness. (Especially you Mom and Dad...luh you!)
My recent and on going study lately has been on the topic of prayer. My amazing friend and truly one of my great examples in life, Melyssa Smith, sent me a talk entitled Improving Our Prayers by Joseph B. Wirthlin. I'd like to share a little bit of this talk with you.
Throughout his speech, he asks a few rhetorical questions for us to assess ourselves, "May I ask you today to consider the effectiveness of your prayers? How close do you feel to your Heavenly Father? Do you feel that your prayers are answered?" He then continues on to share a few different reasons that our prayers at times may be a little less than we have to offer.
One such comment he said, "A reason many prayers have little power is that we lack faith. We approach our Heavenly Father like a child who asks something of his or her parents knowing they will refuse. Without faith, our prayers are merely words. With faith, our prayers connect with the powers of heaven and can bring upon us increased understand, hope and power. If by faith the worlds were created, then by faith we can create and receive the righteous desire of our heart."
With that being said, I want to share with you a very dear experience that manifested to me that with a sincere and faithful heart, that a simple prayer will be answered...
This past week, I had the opportunity to go on exchanges with one of the Winnsboro Sisters, Sister Williams and stay here in Monroe. We had a couple hours before we had our next appointment, so we went tracting. (Knocking door to door)
About an hour or so goes by.
After teaching a couple lessons and clearing up confusion with some the residents on that street that we were not Jehovah Witnesses, we made our way to a small little house, and knocked on the door. After a couple knocks, a woman proceeds to come out the house with a cigarette in her hand and a look of years of emotional exhaustion written on her face. The best way that I can describe her countenance, is the weight of a difficult life had weighed her down with sadness, tired and a loss of purpose.
This woman, Shell, said little to nothing about our questions and comments, as she lit up her cigarette and stared off at the rain falling down the trees and onto her broken front yard fence. My companion for the day was running out of things to say, she looked at me for reassurance and with a smile back, she turned and then sweetly expressed a simple and profound fact, "We know that Jesus Christ loves you." Her response? A scoff with a remark of, "I doubt that."
Again, showing no interest, and seeming out of place, Sister Williams starts to pull out a pass-along card to look up a website and go to the next house. With a feeling of calmness came over me, I knew we weren't done yet:) The Spirit then urged me to push her (lovingly) a little bit more. I wasn't giving up that easy!
(Before I continue this story, I want you to know that the rest of this conversation was completely and totally by the Spirit of God.)
I took what may of been a few seconds to discern and listen to what I should say. The Spirit brought questions and thoughts about things that I could say in order for us to get a better understanding of her situation. I asked about the beliefs that she was raised in, how they taught about the character of Christ and what her feelings were towards faith. I followed those promptings and I got answers back from her. One by one, one inspired question after the other, we saw the walls coming down that she had put up for no one to tear down. She explained that growing up all she heard was the condemnation, the hell, fire and brimstone that awaits her at the end of her life. On and on she was drilled knowing that whatever she did in life, that it would never be enough. So, she gave up. Her faith disappeared along with everything else.
After hearing the struggles of her life, I asked her if we could read a chapter in the Book of Mormon. Another impression from the Spirit told me to read 3 Nephi 17 with her. (The chapter of Christ leaving the people to then return the next day. With tears filling their eyes and a plea to not leave them, He stays a little bit longer to heal them from their physical disabilities and ANY other afflictions they had to be healed of.)
Each of us took a couple verses each, pausing and talking about them. After verses 5-8 I stopped. I let silence come in, and asked.."Miss Shell...does that sound like a fearsome, unmerciful and heartless Savior that you grew up to believe in?" She said, "No...completely the opposite...I wish I would have heard this a lot sooner." Sister Williams shared her wonderful thoughts on the care the Savior has for us and I added my testimony and told her how merciful the Lord has been in my own life. Neither I nor her are different then the rest of the people in this story. He loves us unconditionally and I know she can know that too.
Another spiritual prompting.."Ask her to pray."
"...Will you act on that faith once again right now, and express to your Heavenly Father how you feel, and ask Him this very specific question: Do you love me? After you do, we then want us all to wait a few seconds after in silence. This is the most important part, I want you to notice how you feel after you pray. Shell, I promise you that He will answer you. Put trust in Him one more time. He won't let you down." With hesitation in her voice and a nervousness look on her face, we bowed our heads and closed our eyes. She said "I can't, I don't even know what to say..." Sister Williams encouraged her, "What ever you feel in your heart, say that." What followed another couple moments of hesitation...The most sincere prayer came out of her that I have ever heard, and it started with this...
"....Hi God...it's me. I know you haven't heard from me in a very long time. ..I've been through so much in my life and you weren't there. I lost my faith and I don't trust you anymore."
She then started crying...tears are falling down my face as I then heard her express the thoughts that she had, the pain that she has felt and the desire to feel that everything will be okay. With all the energy I had, I pleaded with God that He would answer her prayer in the way that she would recognize it. I prayed with all of the faith that I had. I knew that this may be the only chance of opportunity for her to do this again. And then the question came...
"God...I want to know if you are there and that if you really do love me. ....In the name of Jesus, amen."
The pause and moment of truth...we stood there still and waited. I looked up tears in my eyes and saw the matching ones in hers. As I quietly asked..."Shell, how do you feel? Her response...
"I believe He heard me for the first time...I feel...peaceful. For the first time in years I feel like I'll finally be able to sleep."
I bore my testimony along with Sister Williams. I gave her a hug and we cried for a few seconds. That place felt like sacred ground for a moment in time.
I know that through the inspired words of prophets who proclaimed their testimonies of the Savior, that Shell felt the Spirit, she felt God's love for her, and that faith that she possessed, however small it was, grew just a little bit more that day. I know that God is aware of us all. He knows every desire of our hearts and is willing to answer as soon as we let Him in.
Love always,
Sister Huffaker
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