Sister Amarae Huffaker: 2016

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Feb 15th : Embrace the End.

Well my loves...I see that today is the day that the realization finally came. That this is my last email to close up the last 18 months of my life. I'm finding myself trying to search for the words to explain the feelings and thoughts that I have. I have come to the conclusion that I won't be able to grasp even the surface, so I have decided to focus on 5 truths that I have come to know for myself as I have served my God.

And they are simply this...

The purpose and central blessing of life is change. Wherever you have been,

wherever you currently are, you have the opportunity and responsibility to

change for the better. I know that the Atonement is real, and it has the

means by which we can become greater than we were before. Change is

necessary and it is all up to us if we allow the miracles and blessings that

come along with it, to let them work in our life...I know that it can only happen

IF we allow it. We must use it to It's full capacity for the sake of our salvation and

our posterity's.

I have learned what the power of prayer truly means. I have been privileged

to witness humble hearts (including my own) turn to their Heavenly Father

and plead for answers in desperate times. The sacred moments that I have

experienced with my Father have helped me see that He is aware of me and

the people I love. I know that all of our prayers will be answered in ways that we can

understand, if we look for them.

The importance of individual worth. Everyone is important to God

and His Plan. We each have our own strengths, abilities, and differences for

a reason...that we may use them to build up His kingdom and help others

with those God-given gifts. No matter what other's think or say, it is important

to remember that we are wonderfully made in His eyes.

Repentance is a positive experience. The definition: A change of mind and

heart that brings a fresh attitude toward God, oneself, and life in general. I

have felt and seen the excruciating guilt that mistakes have brought..I have also felt

a troubled heart disappear as we humbly turned to God and ask for help.

In return, He has replaced those feelings with a peace of mind, a calm assurance, and an opportunity to improve and refine others and myself.

I know that the Gospel of Jesus Christ has and will change the lives of those that will let it.

I know that you and I are beloved sons and daughters of God who loves us unconditionally.

I know that the Book of Mormon holds the answers to our soul searching questions and gives us the understanding we need in this life.

I love my Savior more than words could ever express.

My heart is full...I could never thank God enough for that.

Eternally indebted to my Father,

Sister Huffaker

Sister Uffens!!! I MISS her already!

Sister Ali-Savory from Giana, love her. :)

Feb 1st : Miracles Have Not Ceased.

It's official, I was bit by a dog...I am now officially a stereotypical missionary! Ha! It didn't cause 100 stitches, but let me tell you, the initiation to join the club...probably wasn't worth it.

Now, for the good stuff;)

Truly a Miracle...

During weekly planning this week, we were discussing what to teach all of our investigators for the next 7 days. The wonderful Mr. Carl, being one of those. After about 20 minutes later after planning a few more lessons, the smallest and I mean the tiniest little impression came. I had a thought of Kay his wife, and decided to follow that little inspiration and call her.

A little background about Kay. She is literally the busiest person you will ever know..I mean I think she's been home twice since I came to Monroe and we are over there a lot! She works multiple jobs while juggling everything else. This is important for the rest of the story, it will help you to see the miracle that will be unfolding later on.) She is also, one of the most kindhearted and service oriented people I know.

We gave her a call and like I suspected, she was too busy to answer. A few minutes later, we get a call from Kay! We have a little small talk for a second and then we go on to telling her that we were coming later tonight with Brother Emerson to teach Carl, but that the Grayson family would love to do dinner with her, Carl and the kids sometime soon. She gave us her only hours available that she doesn't work and we said we'd tell the Grayson's, we then hang up. Miracle #1:Two minutes later she calls us back and says "I'm making tacos, invite the Grayson's! Come over before bible study and we'll eat together!"

Its also important to note that at this time, Carl has been taking the lessons for OVER five years and his only hesitation and reason for not joining yet is that Kay, who is completely in love with missionaries and what we do, is also completely comfortable with her ways and that they will be separated when he joins. THAT IS THE ONLY REASON, no doctrine or teaching does he disagree with. For months now, several ward members have been praying that Carl will gain enough courage to be baptized, and by doing so will show Kay how important this really is to him.

We call the Grayson's with an hour notice, and they said yes! We go over and help Kay make dinner, she is so excited about her ground turkey that is more healthy than ground beef and how proud she is of her saving money on soda this week, that I have to smile at how cute she is. Miracle #2: She tells us that this was the ONE day off in months that she didn't have work because it was doctor's orders. Sister Grayson and her get more acquainted and then the men all show up.

As Kay and Carl are in the next room getting their food, we whisper to the members that we are going to invite her to take the lessons. They come in and we sit there discussing life and then at the end of it, Sister Grayson shares their conversion story. Saying that she joined the church a month before her husband and that after all of their searching, they finally found the church that has Christ's full doctrine. She beautifully expressed her love for Kay and invited her to hear the messages and try it out! Carl then adds his sweet two senses in of what he believes, with all of us sharing our thoughts, and resolving some of her initial concerns and questions, the moment of truth came when she answered the question...

Miracle #3: SHE SAID YES. We then finished the night with laughs, leftovers galore and a return dinner appointment next Sunday with the Grayson's.

Follow the impressions that you receive from the Lord. It will enable you to witness the sweetest miracles that will manifest the truthfulness of God's power.

Love,

Sister Huffaker

Thats my cute homegirl, Shell and her two little kids!

Our Mardi Gras Party!

The Lowery Family:) Love them.

Trinity with more beads:)

Trinity and AJ at the Mardi Gras Parade!

Mardi Gras!

The Bayou:)

Jan 18th : It'll All Work Out...

Hello Loves!

The story for the week:

My sweet Sister Bagget whose 78 years old and who I love so much, took us to Rayville (the outskirts of our area) this Saturday. We went there searching to find some of our media referrals. One of these referrals was a woman named Regina who requested a bible. As we approached this broken down white house in a very rough neighborhood, I could see children swarming out to see the two white girls walking to their front door. We ask for Regina and she lets us in. The moment we entered into this home, I felt nothing but sadness, and I didn't completely understand why until the more time I spent there.

We sat in her front room trying to explain who we are and what we are doing. In the mean time, ciaos is all around the house. There's a man paranoid and hastily walking back and forth because of the drugs he is taking, there's a 1 year old boy with a metal fork hes trying to hide while getting very close to his sisters eyes who has no idea what to do, another young boy that was handled roughly a few seconds before we walked in the room was crying hysterically. After a little rub on his back and a smile on my face, he latched onto me for safety. The look on his face was evident that he wanted me to stay close to him as long as possible. In the meanwhile, a little girl with a "big bubble" on her belly button because of lack of professional help when she was born caused it to be a sore and disformed. Some of the other kids were getting too close to a hot curling iron that their mother was using for her "night time" job on the street corner and was preoccupied as she handled two drug deals at the front door to completely two different estranged men.

For the 25 minutes that we were in the house, I saw nothing but hurt, pain and harmful conduct.

No matter how many times I see it, I will never get use to this...My heart could have easily been 100 pounds as I left the house that day. I could barely get myself to leave. Sister Bagget who was sitting in the car with Rudy her dog, witnessed some of the events that occurred. We got into the car and nothing but silence came out of our mouths. We started heading down the road and the feelings finally overwhelmed me. Sister Bagget looked at me in the rear view mirror, noticing the emotions behind the tone of my voice as I asked...

"...How do you know everything will turn out right?" "...How are some of these precious souls born into these horrendous lives and others can be so blessed to never know this much evil?"

She answered simply..."I don't know Sweetie.... but I know that God will take care of each one of those beloved children." She then proceeded to comfort me, explaining that because of the Christ, things will be made right. Tears streamed down my face as the realization that no matter how hard I tried I could never do as much as I wanted to help everyone in the world experiencing this turmoil. A statement from a speech that I read crossed my mind, "You believe in Christ; you just don't believe in Christ...you believe Christ makes promises He can't keep." In the very instance, I knew that I needed to strengthen my faith in the Savior and His Atonement. I needed to believe in Christ as much as I need to believe Christ.

I thought back to Elder Oaks talk this past general conference, "Strengthened by the Atonement of Jesus Christ." He said in part of it, "Our Savior experienced and suffered the fulness of all mortal challenges “according to the flesh” so He could know “according to the flesh” how to “succor [which means to give relief or aid to] his people according to their infirmities.” He therefore knows our struggles, our heartaches, our temptations, and our suffering, for He willingly experienced them all as an essential part of His Atonement. And because of this, His Atonement empowers Him to succor us—to give us the strength to bear it all. ..."Our hymns contain this true assurance: “Earth has no sorrow that heav’n cannot cure.” What cures us is our Savior and His Atonement."

Through these discouraging times I think of the lyrics to one of my favorite hymns that brings comfort to my soul and the calm assurance that things will be okay...

Where can I turn for peace?

Where is my solace

When other sources cease to make me whole?

When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice,

I draw myself apart,

Searching my soul?

Where, when my aching grows,

Where, when I languish,

Where, in my need to know, where can I run?

Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?

Who, who can understand?

He, only One.

I know that the ONLY way to understand and believe that things will be okay is through trusting in Christ and His eternal gift, His Atonement. I know that faith is a continuous action that is needed for our benefit. He knows the struggles of our heart, the despair we feel and the darkness that swarms us everyday. With that being said, I ask that we follow this counsel...Let Him help you...let Him in, to bring that peace that we are all looking for.

I love you all,

Sister Huffaker

Jan 12th 2016

Bowling with the district.

Sister Earl, we washed and did her hair for her while feeling a little under the weather:)

MLC with Sister Winkel<3

Alligator:)

Dec 22nd : "I believe He heard me."

Merry Christmas my loves!

It's been a very long minute since I wrote a mass email, but I have decided to repent and ask for your forgiveness. (Especially you Mom and Dad...luh you!)

My recent and on going study lately has been on the topic of prayer. My amazing friend and truly one of my great examples in life, Melyssa Smith, sent me a talk entitled Improving Our Prayers by Joseph B. Wirthlin. I'd like to share a little bit of this talk with you.

Throughout his speech, he asks a few rhetorical questions for us to assess ourselves, "May I ask you today to consider the effectiveness of your prayers? How close do you feel to your Heavenly Father? Do you feel that your prayers are answered?" He then continues on to share a few different reasons that our prayers at times may be a little less than we have to offer.

One such comment he said, "A reason many prayers have little power is that we lack faith. We approach our Heavenly Father like a child who asks something of his or her parents knowing they will refuse. Without faith, our prayers are merely words. With faith, our prayers connect with the powers of heaven and can bring upon us increased understand, hope and power. If by faith the worlds were created, then by faith we can create and receive the righteous desire of our heart."

With that being said, I want to share with you a very dear experience that manifested to me that with a sincere and faithful heart, that a simple prayer will be answered...

This past week, I had the opportunity to go on exchanges with one of the Winnsboro Sisters, Sister Williams and stay here in Monroe. We had a couple hours before we had our next appointment, so we went tracting. (Knocking door to door)

About an hour or so goes by.

After teaching a couple lessons and clearing up confusion with some the residents on that street that we were not Jehovah Witnesses, we made our way to a small little house, and knocked on the door. After a couple knocks, a woman proceeds to come out the house with a cigarette in her hand and a look of years of emotional exhaustion written on her face. The best way that I can describe her countenance, is the weight of a difficult life had weighed her down with sadness, tired and a loss of purpose.

This woman, Shell, said little to nothing about our questions and comments, as she lit up her cigarette and stared off at the rain falling down the trees and onto her broken front yard fence. My companion for the day was running out of things to say, she looked at me for reassurance and with a smile back, she turned and then sweetly expressed a simple and profound fact, "We know that Jesus Christ loves you." Her response? A scoff with a remark of, "I doubt that."

Again, showing no interest, and seeming out of place, Sister Williams starts to pull out a pass-along card to look up a website and go to the next house. With a feeling of calmness came over me, I knew we weren't done yet:) The Spirit then urged me to push her (lovingly) a little bit more. I wasn't giving up that easy!

(Before I continue this story, I want you to know that the rest of this conversation was completely and totally by the Spirit of God.)

I took what may of been a few seconds to discern and listen to what I should say. The Spirit brought questions and thoughts about things that I could say in order for us to get a better understanding of her situation. I asked about the beliefs that she was raised in, how they taught about the character of Christ and what her feelings were towards faith. I followed those promptings and I got answers back from her. One by one, one inspired question after the other, we saw the walls coming down that she had put up for no one to tear down. She explained that growing up all she heard was the condemnation, the hell, fire and brimstone that awaits her at the end of her life. On and on she was drilled knowing that whatever she did in life, that it would never be enough. So, she gave up. Her faith disappeared along with everything else.

After hearing the struggles of her life, I asked her if we could read a chapter in the Book of Mormon. Another impression from the Spirit told me to read 3 Nephi 17 with her. (The chapter of Christ leaving the people to then return the next day. With tears filling their eyes and a plea to not leave them, He stays a little bit longer to heal them from their physical disabilities and ANY other afflictions they had to be healed of.)

Each of us took a couple verses each, pausing and talking about them. After verses 5-8 I stopped. I let silence come in, and asked.."Miss Shell...does that sound like a fearsome, unmerciful and heartless Savior that you grew up to believe in?" She said, "No...completely the opposite...I wish I would have heard this a lot sooner." Sister Williams shared her wonderful thoughts on the care the Savior has for us and I added my testimony and told her how merciful the Lord has been in my own life. Neither I nor her are different then the rest of the people in this story. He loves us unconditionally and I know she can know that too.

Another spiritual prompting.."Ask her to pray."

"...Will you act on that faith once again right now, and express to your Heavenly Father how you feel, and ask Him this very specific question: Do you love me? After you do, we then want us all to wait a few seconds after in silence. This is the most important part, I want you to notice how you feel after you pray. Shell, I promise you that He will answer you. Put trust in Him one more time. He won't let you down." With hesitation in her voice and a nervousness look on her face, we bowed our heads and closed our eyes. She said "I can't, I don't even know what to say..." Sister Williams encouraged her, "What ever you feel in your heart, say that." What followed another couple moments of hesitation...The most sincere prayer came out of her that I have ever heard, and it started with this...

"....Hi God...it's me. I know you haven't heard from me in a very long time. ..I've been through so much in my life and you weren't there. I lost my faith and I don't trust you anymore."

She then started crying...tears are falling down my face as I then heard her express the thoughts that she had, the pain that she has felt and the desire to feel that everything will be okay. With all the energy I had, I pleaded with God that He would answer her prayer in the way that she would recognize it. I prayed with all of the faith that I had. I knew that this may be the only chance of opportunity for her to do this again. And then the question came...

"God...I want to know if you are there and that if you really do love me. ....In the name of Jesus, amen."

The pause and moment of truth...we stood there still and waited. I looked up tears in my eyes and saw the matching ones in hers. As I quietly asked..."Shell, how do you feel? Her response...

"I believe He heard me for the first time...I feel...peaceful. For the first time in years I feel like I'll finally be able to sleep."

I bore my testimony along with Sister Williams. I gave her a hug and we cried for a few seconds. That place felt like sacred ground for a moment in time.

I know that through the inspired words of prophets who proclaimed their testimonies of the Savior, that Shell felt the Spirit, she felt God's love for her, and that faith that she possessed, however small it was, grew just a little bit more that day. I know that God is aware of us all. He knows every desire of our hearts and is willing to answer as soon as we let Him in.

Love always,

Sister Huffaker